What to look out for

Mental ill health is a very personal experience, and although there are common symptoms the range is huge and may not be to the same extent for every individual.

Symptoms vary between mental illnesses as they would for physical illnesses, however some similarities can exist.

If you think someone may be in a mental health crisis here are some things to look out for:

♦ Becoming isolated

♦ Saying no to going out with friends

♦ Change in eating or drinking habits

♦ Doing less well at college

♦ Becoming disinterested

♦ Relationships suffering

♦ Absence

♦ Lack of focus

♦ Lack of interest in their hobbies

♦ Lack of interest in their appearance

♦ Changes in their ‘normal' behaviour

Of course this list is not exhaustive, and does not apply to everyone, but can be helpful to try and understand the onset of mental health issues.

It is important you do not assume someone has a mental illness from observing any of the above ‘symptoms' instead, support them in looking for appropriate help to find out what is wrong.

How to be there
Often you can read about and hear about how to get support if you have a mental health concern, but rarely do you get the opportunity to get support as a supporter.

Approaching the issue
It could be your closest friend, a new flatmate or someone in your tutorial, asking anyone if they are having problems is never easy. You need to communicate what you are trying to say well and also be patient enough to hear the entire answer.

Two ways to ensure you communicate well are, firstly, communicating it without prejudice. Cast aside what you may have seen or heard through the media.

Although sometimes it may be accurate, many times it is not. Secondly, don't assume that what you are thinking is right. The person you ask may just be having a bad time and don't see themselves as having a mental health concern - respect that.

Also don't be an amateur psychologist, where you think someone may suffer from anorexia, by saying that you may upset or anger them, and you may in fact prevent them from opening up to you.

The most helpful thing is to ask honestly and show that you are asking because you care about them.

Be open-minded
Have you ever thought ‘What does that person have to be upset about, everything seems fine?' or ‘That person needs to see what it's like to live my life?'

It is very easy to assume things when someone has a mental health concern, we don't see a bruise or a scar, so tend to come to our own conclusions a little too fast.

There may be numerous reasons behind why someone feels depressed, anxious or suicidal or why a person may have turned to drugs or alcohol.

The most important things for you to understand is that there is an aspect of their life they are unhappy with, feel they have no control over or has acted as a trigger and their mental health has suffered.

As a supporter, this open minded attitude will be one of the most helpful things you can provide.

It is important too, for you to cast aside any pre-judgement you may have about a mental illness. Although some of what you might read or see through media will be true, always bare in mind that mental illness is a personal issue and every individual will feel differently.

Be willing to listen
We all need a good rant every now and then. Sometime you want someone to sit there say nothing (unless, of course it is to agree with you) while you shout and it out your system.

So why should it be any different for those if us with a mental health issue? Talking through things is a hugely positive step for someone in a mental health crisis and can often be the beginning of the road to recovery.

But sometimes we want to advise and assist, although it can be helpful and has its place, for someone diagnosed with a mental illness it is important to make sure they are getting the right advice and assistance from professionals such as counsellors and GPs.

The best thing you can do is be a reassuring, friendly ear.

See the person for themselves
Once someone has a ‘diagnosis' of a mental illness many people find it difficult to see past that, and start to define the person with their diagnosis; depressed, schizophrenic, bulimic.

But that doesn't define them, and from you they are looking for acceptance and understanding. How did you treat the person before they had a diagnosis? What did you laugh about? Where did you go? All of these things can remain the same.

Of course, there will be times where you talk about how they are feeling, or perhaps where going out is not something they wish to do, but by treating them as you did before, you are showing them that you are not afraid of the changes that have taken place but are there for them.

Try not to become disheartened
It is not always easy to admit you need support, for this reason you might find the person you are trying to support is distant or aggressive when you try to help. Although it might be difficult, try not to take it personally.

Remember that who you are trying to support may still be coming to understand the issue themselves.

Try to be patient if you can and rather then pushing them to talk to you, let them know you are there and that they can come to you when they're ready.

Understand recovery is possible
It is important for you as a supporter to be aware that many people who are diagnosed with a mental illness do recover.

As a supporter it is often very valuable to emphasise recovery with the friend you're helping, this way you help them understand that despite how low they feel now, this can be a temporary feeling.

Make sure you are ok too
It's great that you want to be their for a friend who may be going through a very difficult time in their life, but it you should recognise that there will be times that this will also become difficult for you.

Remember to give yourself a break from it if need be and talk about it with someone else, but maintaining your friend's confidentiality.

The issue of confidentiality
Discussing personal problems can be hard to do, and people need to feel secure in the knowledge that what they are saying is in a safe and non-judgmental environment.

To create this environment it is likely your friend will ask you not to tell anyone. It is fine to maintain this confidentiality to an extent. Let them know that you will not gossip about anything they tell you, but that if the issue become dangerous then you would have to tell someone who could help.

By doing this you're not being disloyal, you are looking after their best interest.
Being there for someone is not an exact science, and really depends on the person you are trying to support.

BUT the fact that you have read through this and are researching how to help someone shows that you are already doing a lot of things right!